We'll Always Find A Way
by The Logical Fallacy
Summary: Momswapped AU. Greg meets a strange yellow woman and they fall in love. Their son Steven Diamond Universe now carries his mother's gem and her legacy, joining Jasper, Peridot and Lapis Lazuli on many adventures as "The Crystal Gems."
1. The Ballad of Greg and Yellow Diamond

**Being a fan of _Steven Universe_ , I decided to do the obvious route and write a fanfic based on it. I go around and I have been finding a recurring motif among fans called "Momswapped AU." In this AU, Jasper, Peridot and Lapis Lazuli replace Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl as the Crystal Gems, as opposed to "Redemption AU" where they join the three as Honorary members of the group.**

 **In this case, I owe a thanks to fanfiction-writer Stardonyx for her fanfic "** ** **Momswap: The Reversed AU** " for giving me the idea to set everything up during "Story for Steven" rather than in "Gem Glow".**

 ** _Steven Universe_ owned by Cartoon Network. Not me.**

* * *

Greg let the final tune of his guitar carry itself across the beach from the speakers, nothing but the clapping of a single audience member to accompany it.

"Thank you for coming everybody. I'm Mr. Universe. If you like what you just heard, go check out our merch-table. My manager Marty can hook you up with CDs and t-shirts- oh wait," Greg regretted saying, seeing his manager missing. "He's not there. I guess I'm going over there now."

The young man put down his guitar and sat himself down at the empty merch table nearby. Up walked the audience member, who inspected an unopened album CD. She was taller than Greg. Thinner too. She wore a dark-yellow sleeveless vest that complimented her sharp-shoulders, a small diamond-shaped yellow jewel in the middle of a larger diamond shaped cut from her clothes on her chest. She wore a brown set of trousers that hugged her legs and waist like a second skin. Her dirty-blonde hair was short, making two pints jutting from her widow's peak. She had glowing yellow-skin, and two, piercing yellow eyes that commanded pride and confidence. She had the air of a prep-school dean or a proud veteran general, her presence commanding an earned respect.

" _Space-Train to the Cosmos_?"

"Yeah. _One-way ticket and I'm ready to ri-e-iede_ ," Greg sang.

"Huh," the woman shrugged, amused. "Well then, Mr. Universe, how do you plan on making it back?"

"Back?"

"Back to Earth?"

"I'm never coming back," said Greg, kicking back in his chair.

"Why would you do that? You are from here. _Home is where the heart is_ , as some would say."

Greg was not sure how to respond to her, unsure if she was teasing or if she was offended by his answer.

"Uh... you want that?" Greg asked, pointing to the album.

"Hm?"

"Cause you can have it, and it comes with a free t-shirt." Greg held up a large t-shirt with his name on it. Looking at the height of the woman standing, plus the width her shoulders added to her, he rethought the offer. "You'll probably need a bigger one. I've got an XXL one in my van. Be right there."

Before he could open the van, the doors jutted out themselves and out-climbed greg's manager Marty and a blonde-haired biker chick.

"Star-child! Meet Vidalia," he gestured to the blonde woman beside him chewing gum.

"Nice van. Really living the high-life," the girl muttered apathetically as she blew a bubble.

"So, how was the show?"

"It was great! One person showed up. Oh! I gotta give her this free t-" and the yellow woman was gone. "-shirt..."

"Greg! You can't just give away stuff for free! What about my 75%? 75% of nothing is nothing. Are you worth nothing?"

"...no."

"That's right. I'm gonna make us both rich." He then motioned to Greg's ear and whispered "and as far as these salt-water saps know, we already are. So let's live it up before we hit the road, alright? Next stop, Empire City!"

"You know, I'll catch up with you," said Greg, letting Marty and Vidalia have their fun.

* * *

Greg wandered through the streets of the city. The empty roads and dim lights should make it easy for him to spot her. Her eyes practically glowed bright yellow, after all. As he wandered, he made it to the other side of the city's beach, only to be stopped by a long, metal fence. There stood a metal sign that read " _KEEP OFF BEACH_ " in perfect English, accompanied by a small, wooden sign haphazardly nailed below it, spelling " _or else_ " in very bad handwriting. Greg peered past the fence and saw what could only be described as a giant hand coming from the massive hill, possibly carved from the rock itself.

"Maybe she's over there?"

Greg was answered by a small mewing sound, realizing that there was a small orange tabby cat, decorated with dark-orange stripes and a strange diamond-shaped nose, sitting next to him.

"Hey there," Greg bent down to pet the cat, only to be warned with small growl, the cat slicking its ears back menacingly. "Uh huh-huh," he chuckled nervously, "I guess you wouldn't happened to have seen a tall, mysterious lady with spiked yellow hair, have you?"

To his surprise, the cat answered him, it eyes slitting and almost _glowing_ a bright sunset color.

"So what if I have?" The cat seemed ready to pounce on him any moment.

"W-well... where is she?"

"I don't know what business you have with her human, but turn back now. You can't handle what you are in for if you don't."

The cat slipped through a hole in the fence and ran across the beach on the other side, leaving deep paw-prints in the sand.

"Wuh, hey! Wait!" Greg climbed the fence and fell on his back on the other side. "Hold on a sec!"

While the cat was fast, its paw-prints were easy for him to follow, leading him to the front of what Greg could only describe as a massive Goddess Statue that looked upon the ocean. A true architectural marvel and a real tourist trap should anyone else find it. Greg heard voices in an opening where the statue's abdomen was.

"A human was sneaking by the fence."

"Hold on a second: It spoke to you?"

"He was asking about Yellow Diamond. I think the temple might be compromised."

"Oh please. If it was a human than there shouldn't be anything to be wor..."

The woman abruptly stopped and looked up at Greg in surprise. The woman had a green triangular gemstone on her forehead, a shade of green that the rest of her body seemed to share. She wore a simplistic outfit, her hands fitted with protective gloves and feet with protective shoes. Her hair was a sickly shade of bright yellow in the shape of a large triangle. On the front of her outfit sat a small yellow diamond-shape just like the yellow lady, but lacking gemstone. She had small lines below here eyes and on subtle parts on her angular face, possibly from stress.

"Yo," said Greg, feeling awkward.

" _You!_ "

"Jasper, hold on!"

Suddenly, the cat ran up to him, and before Greg could process it, expanded before his very eyes, taking on the form of a rather large woman. She was huge, sporting a wild mane of white hair that climbed down her back. Her whole body was in different shades of orange, stripes of dark orange painted across her body in contrast like war paint or on a bengal tiger. Instead of a nose there was a small, diamond-shaped gemstone, and piercing yellow eyes similar to the yellow woman, though instead of being calming and attention grabbing, these told him that he should be running. _Very fast._

"Who are you? State your purpose!"

"Jasper! Leave it be! You don't know where its been." Suddenly the green woman came over and got between them, feebly holding back this orange gorilla ( _Jasper_ she said her name was) from seriously injuring him. "Um, I am very sorry about this uh... _you_."

A light exploded from the platform in the center of the temple and suddenly there stood a third woman. She was elegant and feminine, as opposed to the masculine Jasper and the angular green lady. Her short hair and dress wafting in the breeze as if she was underwater. Her entire body was completely blue, varying in different shades on her dress, skin and hair. Floating above her hands where two sky-blue bubbles containing what looked like two strange-looking rocks inside them. As soon as she noticed the situation, the two bubbles vanished into thin-air.

"Jasper. Peridot. You're with a human!" The blue woman stepped off the platform, her bare-feet not making a sound, as she got right in Greg's face, attempting to stare the man of the same height down.

"He says he is after Yellow Diamond," Jasper growled.

"It seems he'll needs proper interrogating," Peridot stated apathetically, almost as if he was just a guinea pig in a science experiment. Lapis walked right up to his face, meeting him at nearly the same height with her unblinking eyes.

"It seems my teammates think you are some sort of threat. I think introductions will be needed. Hello, I am Lapis Lazuli. What brings you here?" The blue woman - _Lapis Lazuli_ as he knows her by now - seemed much more inviting than the other two. This was because all of her aggression was internal, as the poor, unsuspecting human was blissfully unaware of a stream of water slowly crawled beyond the rest of the tide, forming an arm reaching out from behind him.

"Um... I was looking a mysterious yellow lady. Really tall, very pointy looking shoulders..."

"Well is _sounds_ like Yellow Diamond," said Peridot.

"That's what I've been saying!" Jasper roared again.

"Hmm..." muttered Lapis, her face closer to his in an intense stare. "Nope, he's fine. Let's just throw him over the fence."

"What?!" Greg sputtered indignantly before finally noticed the giant arm made of water looming over him, ready to grab him. "Hey wait, hold on-"

" _Wait!_ " The water-arm immediatly lost its shape, landing on him. Greg moved his newly soaked hair out of his eyes, seeing Yellow Diamond standing them from a door on the wall. "Mr. Universe?"

"It's you," Greg muttered, ringing the water out of his mane. Yellow Diamond leaped from where she was and landed with great precision on a rock infront of him like a kunoichi. "Are you okay?" She asked, lending a hand to the man. Suddenly Peridot broke their line of sight.

"You _know_ this human?"

"Um well," Yellow Diamond stuttered, "he was playing a music concert on the beach and I was curious."

"No one can ignore the Universe," Greg flaunted, his charm undermined by the salt-water weighing his hair down. "Oh, I brought you this! It's the free t-shirt that came with your free CD.

"Um, why thank you," Yellow Diamond stuttered, her yellow cheeks blushing olive as she accepted the gift.

The other three crowded around her as they observed the Mr. Universe Logo on the front. She whispered "his gimmick is space" to them, causing Lapis and Peridot to snicker while Jasper kept her sneer of suspicion on Greg. Lapis laid against Greg in a somewhat teasing manner.

"Play something _Mr. Universe_ ," said Lapis.

"Better make it good," said Jasper, popping her knuckles threateningly.

"I'm working on this awesome new set that's gonna _kill_ at my next show. Next show... ah geeze, what time is it?"

"Night... time?" Peridot answered, confused.

Yeah, Marty's probably looking for me. We're supposed to hit the road, big show in a big city. I didn't drop out of community college for nothing you know."

"...what?" Peridot asked, even more bemused by the stranger

"Well you'd better hurry, don't let us make you miss your 'space-train to the cosmos'," said Yellow Diamond.

"Okay, I'll see you later." He ran the other way before turning back. "I hope the stars align for us to meet again."

"I'm sure they will," answered Yellow Diamond, amused by his enthusiasm.

"Good-bye Mr. Universe!" shouted Lapis.

Greg ran past the gate where his van and his manager was waiting. Yellow Diamond looked down at the shirt fondly. One does not receive gifts that often, especially from a stranger. The yellow Gem had a feeling that there was more to Greg than she initially thought...

"I can sing too, you know," Peridot blurted, trying to dismiss the human's visit. The others started to snicker. Even Jasper's tension broke as she tried to hide her own smirk from the others. The green gem blushed pine green. "What?"

* * *

 **Comment or Die!**


	2. Gem Glow

**To those who have ideas that would benefit the story, please let me know in a review. Thank you.**

 **REVIEW RESPONSES**

 ***** **Tatopatato: No, I'm not entirely sure yet and definitely not.**

 ***** **PublicEnemy123: While I am trying to mold the story to fit the characters of Jasper, Peridot and Lapis Lazuli (who are in turn made different from the canon show seeing as how they would have different experiences), this takes place in what is essentially an alternate timeline, so the characters will basically go through many of the same hurdles and the canon Crystal Gems will face (like the monsters and stuff). Because I am using different characters however, this will also alter how certain things function. For instance, this AU has Steven's mother be Yellow Diamond instead of Rose Quartz, so many of the Gem-based powers he inherits are different from his canon counterpart. No shield, no plant powers, no healing spit. Meaning no Indirect Kiss or Watermelon Stevens. Also, Jasper is not a fusion here.  
**

* * *

 _Gem Glow_

 _"Noooooooooooo!"  
_

A voice echoed across the sleepy town of Beach City. The location: The Big Donut. The source: a boy by the name of Steven Universe. He wore a yellow t-shirt with a black diamond on the front from his dad's days as a one-man band. He was a tad chubby, but that just made him more huggable.

"This can't be happening! This must be a dream!" He ran over and hugged Lars, one of the employees at the store, almost as if it would make everything better. "Lars, please tell me I'm dreaming!"

"Get off me man, I'm stocking here," Lars dismissed irritably, letting Steven slink to the floor as he walked away.

"I'm sorry Steven. I guess they stopped making them,"said Sadie, the other worker there.

"Stop making them?! Why would they stop making cookie-cat? They're only the most scrumdiliumcious ice-cream sandwich ever made! Don't they have laws for this?" He shouted hysterically.

"Tough bits, man. Nobody buys them anymore. I guess they couldn't compete with Leopard-Lickers," said Lars.

"Oh, not Leopard-Lickers. Nobody likes them! They don't have spots or noses. They look more like lions. Kids these days, I'll tell you what."

"Well, if you miss your wimpy ice-cream so much, then why don't you make some with your magic rock," Lars taunted.

"That's not how it works Lars!" Steven took the collar of his shirt and lowered it down low enough to reveal a flawless, rhombus-shaped jewel inbedded in his torso just to right of his left shoulder over his heart. "Right?" He nudged it slightly, hoping that it would react in some way. It glinted a brilliant yellow - almost precious gold - that almost glowed in the artificial light. It still didn't do anything though. He sighed in defeat.

"Oh sweet cookie-cats with our crunchy-cookie outside, your icy, creamy insides. You were too good for the world." He kissed the door to the Cookie Cat fridge, lamenting the death of his one, true love; his ice-cream sandwich.

"Alright, alright, that's enough of that lover-boy. We're closing in five minutes and I want to get out of here," complained Lars.

Steven didn't react, clinging to the small fridge almost as if it was a large teddy bear. Sadie just watched, unsure of how to handle it.

"Ah, Steven? Do you want to take the freezer with you?" Asked Sadie.

Steven nodded _yes_ to her with his soulful eyes.

* * *

Steven's spirits were lifted again. He practically skipping-to-his-lou ( _my darling_ ) across the evening streets of Beach City, the Cookie-Cat mini-fridge strapped to his back and a small paper bag where he kept his donuts. He hummed the Cookie Cat jingle as he did, finding the beach where the temple sat. Things changed over the years. For one, the fence was removed (along with the various, threatening signs set up by Jasper). For two, a large beach-house was built over the entrance of the temple. Steven made his way up the steps, his flip-flops clumping on the wooden steps as he opened the front door.

"Hey guys, you won't believe this!" Steven shouted, before suddenly being tackled by a large, green centipeede monster. Its eye in its mouth, its gaping, jagged jaws, slobbering savagely. Before the monster could take off any limbs, a large, dark-blue trident - its three points hooked and the back-end connected by a chain made of water - suddenly speared through the monster's abdomen. The chain reeled it in to the weapon's owner, who flung the monster loose against the wall, poofing instantly.

There stood the Gem of the Ocean, Lapis Lazuli. She held the trident in her left hand, the wrist cuffed and connected to the chain as she practically danced her way across the battle, the water-chain like tassels. She stopped spinning in place, surprised to see Steven back so soon.

"Oh hey Steven! Don't mind us," as she batted another centipeed creature across the room like a golf-ball. "We'll get these centipeetles out of your room. Just give us a minute."

"Centipeetles?" Steven asked, amazed.

As another centipeedle wormed its way to them, it was suddenly poofed in what could only be described as a small smoke-bomb like device, the explosion set to kill the monster without damaging its surroundings. In walked the green gem Peridot, pulling up a pair of protective cup-goggles from her eyes over the triangular gem on her forehead, calculating her next move as she contact-juggled a small number of identical bombs in one of her gauntlets, her palms big enough to carry the orbs.

"We believe that they were trying to get into the temple," said Peridot like she was simply talking to herself. This was confirmed when she just _then_ noticed that Steven was there. "Oh, hello Steven."

"Hey Peridot," said Steven. Peridot gave him a small smile as threw the handful of lime-colored cherry-bombs at a group of centipeetles climbing over the kitchen cabinet, sending them hurdling through the air as Jasper caught one, breaking it in half over her knee, poofing it instantly.

"Hey little-man," Jasper responded, giving Steven a gesture in her usual tough-guy manner.

"These creatures do not appear to have gems. My guess would be that there must be a mother somewhere spawning these creatures. If we don't stop it, Beach City will be overrun by them," deduced Peridot as she wrestled with one of them, trying to keep it from getting away.

"Awe, you don't have to get rid of them. They're really cool."

Just as he said that, almost out of irony, the centipeedle vomited an electric green puddle, the strange substance eating through the wooden floor of the beach-house almost instantly.

"I rest my case," responded Peridot. "We better find the mother before the humans catch wind of it."

"Ooh, can I come? Can I?" Steven pleaded.

"Steven, until you learn to control the magical power of your gem, we'll take care of protecting humanity. Okay?" Said Lapis warmly as she continued to stab at one of the bugs mercilessly.

"Ah man... hey, get out of there!" He shouted, finding a centipeedle digging through the refrigerator. "Shoo shoo. Awe, they got into everything. Not cool!" he shouted at the centipeedle before its head was crushed under Jasper's foot.

He looked back at the fridge and found - to his amazement - the entire freezer stuffed with Cookie-Cats!

"No way," Steven said with diamonds in his eyes. "It can't be! Where did you get these? I thought they stopped making them!" Lapis closed the fridge.

"We'll, we knew that to, and we knew that they were your favorite, so-"

"We went out and stole some," Jasper interrupted, back leaning against the cupboard. Lapis put her hands on her hips and gave her a sour look.

"I went back and paid for them."

"It was my idea," Peridot stated flatly.

"It was everyone's idea," Lapis quipped.

"No it wasn't."

Lapis rolled her eyes.

"All that matters is that Steven is happy."

The jingle in Steven's head started from the beginning, as he sang its song out of nowhere.

" _OH He's a frozen treat with an all new taste!_  
 _'cause he came to this planet from outer space!_  
 _A refugee of an interstellar war!_

 _But now he's at your local grocery store!_  
 _Cookie Cat!_  
 _He's a pet for your tummy!_  
 _Cookie Cat!_

 _He's super duper yummy!_  
 _Cookie Cat!_  
 _He left his family behind!_  
 _Cookie Caaaaat!_

 _Now available at Gurgins off Rt. 109_ "

The Gems had a good chuckle out of his sporatic singing. Jasper ruffling his hair.

"I can't believe you did this. I'll gonna save these forever. Right after I eat this one," as he unwrapped the ice cream sandwich he was holding. "Hello old friend" he muttered as he took a bite from it, savoring the chocolate and vanilla in his mouth. "Mm, so good. I like to eat the ears first."

"Um, Steven?!" muttered Jasper in shock as a bright, electric yellow glowed through his shirt. He tugged the collar of his shirt, revealing that his gem was glowing.

"My gem!" He cried out.

"Quick Steven, try and summon your weapon!" Jasper cried out, inadvertently shoving an annoyed Peridot out of her way.

"I don't know how!" Steven cried out as the glow began to dim. He started dancing in hysterics. "Ah! It's fading, how do I make it come back?!"

"Try and relax Steven, try not to force it," said Peridot, trying her best to calm him down.

"Yeah Steven, and don't faint either," said Jasper.

"' _Don't faint_ '?" Peridot parroted.

"What? Isn't that what humans do when they're nervous? That is a human thing right?" Jasper asked.

" _Hey! Now isn't the time!_ " Lapis interrupted. By the time their focus went back to Steven, his gem already ceased glowing completely.

"Aw, I was really close that time..." said Steven as he put the rest of his ice cream away. "Can't one of you teach me how to summon a weapon?"

Diamonds lit up in Lapis' eyes. "Oh, I'll go first!"

* * *

Steven and Lapis were just outside of the beach-house on the beach. Lapis' bare-feet were on the wet sand, allowing the tide to touch her toes as Steven sat farther back, intently listening.

"Do you see the moon Steven? How far it is from the ocean? While they may be thousands a miles apart, this does not separate the connection they have to each other. Feel the tides as they push and pull against the gravitational force of the moon. Feel the moon orbiting. _Feel_ connection, Steven." She turned to him, her gaze an almost romantic one in the majesty of it all. "When you understand this connection and embrace it, you can truly understand the connection you have between you and the magical properties of your gem, controlling _its own_ tides, _its own_ waves, until..." as she turned back around, the tear-shaped gem on her back glowing, shooting her trident out into the air. She suddenly turn back and jutted her hand into the air, causing a chain of water to suddenly shoot from the ocean from in front of her. One end of the chain snagged the trident, the other cuffing her arm. As gravity pulled the trident back, she effortlessly caught it, twirling it around before draping it on her shoulder.

"You see?"

* * *

He was on the front porch, fiddling with a bowl of water as Peridot walked out to see what he was doing. She raised her eye-brow.

"Did Lazuli tell you the _moon-thing_?"

"Yeah. I need to feel a lot so I can push water. I think..."

"Listen Steven," Peridot began, "try not to buy into any of that 'new-age superstitious rigmarole' Lapis is trying to push on you. That will only cloud your head and make you think things that don't exist. If you really want to get ahead, one must _focus_ , Steven. Focus on the task at hand and you'll surely find the weapon you will need. Like me." She reached for the gem on her forehead, her large, bionic hand making a fist over it. Her gem glowed for a moment under it, producing three tiny green bombs in her grip. She pulled the goggles on her forehead over her eyes as she reached back and threw the bombs into the air like a pitcher with a baseball. The bombs then exploded, creating a flurry of beautiful, green fireworks in the night sky.

"All it takes is a little focus."

* * *

"So I'm supposed to feel really hard _and_ think really hard too?"

Steven and Jasper were walking through the streets barely a few blocks away from the temple, Jasper helping herself to the bag of donuts Steven gave her as they did.

"Naw. You won't be getting anywhere with those dweebs. Heart and brains don't count for anything when your off facing monsters. Take it from me," as she threw the now-empty bag onto the ground. "One does not have time to think when your against an opponent, nor should you hesitate." She looked around and saw a random minivan. She grinned crudely. "It's either you, or them." He gem glowed only a moment before her crash-helmet materialized on her head. She ran a few steps, the asphalt and her feet thumping loud enough like a raging bull before she shoot at it like a harpoon. The blunt-front of her helmet met the side of the van, leaving a dent on the side as the vehicle did several flips before its momentum was stunted by a street-light. Mr. Smiley was walking by before he cried out, wanting to know what happened to his van.

* * *

They were all back at the temple, Steven pondering.

"I think my best bet is to recreate what happened the last time my gem glowed. So Jasper and Peridot were standing here," he gestured, the orange gem and green gem standing next to each other. "Lapis was next to the fridge," he continued. "Hmm... Jasper, I think your arms were crossed."

Jasper raised her brow, but complied anyway, "Whatever you say."

"...and Peridot, you were standing closer to her here" as he lightly shoved Peridot closer just in front of Jasper.

"I don't think it works this way Steven," said the green Gem.

"Just let him work it out," said Jasper, mildly amused.

"...and Lapis, you were by the fridge right around here," as he nudged her closer to the machine.

"Whuh? Oh, okay." She muttered, somewhat confused. Steven reached into the freezer and grabbed the pre-opened package of Cookie Cat he had before.

"Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat. Ooh, wait! I sang the song first. Uh... _here's a frozen treat... all new taste... interstellar warp... Now available at Gurgins_." A pregnant pause lingered, but nothing happened. "Aw, it was funnier last time." He exposed him gem again. Nothing. "Maybe... I'm not a real Crystal Gem."

Lapis got on her knees, meeting him at eye level. "Don't be silly Steven, of course you are."

"And you're fun to be around, even if you can't do anyth-" Jasper coughed, interrupted by a metal elbow to the sternum, courtesy of Peridot. "I mean, um... your one of us little man. Don't be saying stuff like that."

"We aren't the Crystal Gems without you," said Peridot. Touched by their words, diamonds formed in Steven's eyes as he gave them a modest smile.

"Yeah, and I still got Cookie Cat!" As Steven helped himself to more of his treat. "Mh, so good," as his gem began to glow. The brilliant aureolian light practically lit up the whole room from beneath his shirt before the light focused through the cloth. Materializing before their eyes was a tall, magnificent rapier-sword, the pommel and handle golden, etched with a series of rhombus shapes, the blade incredibly thin but sharp enough to cut virtually anything. The sword was spinning in midair before him. The Gems all gasped.

"Steven... it's a sword," Lapis uttered in astonishment. He opened his eyes, amazed.

"Oh, what? I get a sword? Oh yeah!" As the sword suddenly jumped away from him, pushed by the will of his excitement, the weapon spinning in midair before embedding itself into his television, the blade sparking from the electricity before it calmed down. Lapis seemed worried, Peridot face-palmed while muttering an "ow" from the force her robot arm applied to her face, while Jasper just snickered from it. Steven pulled himself together. "Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!"

Peridot inspected the wrapper.

"What's in these things?" Suddenly a tremor shook the house. A lamp fell to the ground with a crack somewhere. Silhoettes of dozens of centipeedles crawled across the windows as the sword imbedded in the television suddenly vanished from existence, its use fulfilled for the day.

"What was that," asked Steven. They all ran outside, finding what appeared to be a massive Centipeedle climbing over the face of the temple statue, its head blowing a large white mane and a piercing green eyeball in its jaw.

"The mother," shouted Jasper as her weapon materialized on her head. She shot like a rocket with the strength of her legs, bouncing off the forearms of the temple statue with the intention of spearing through the giant bug, its tough hide making such a task difficult.

"Steven, get in the house," ordered Peridot.

"No way, I'm coming too." He ran back into the house, collecting the various Cookie Cats in the freezer and unloading a box of extension cords.

* * *

As Jasper maneuvered her way across the beach-side hill, the arthropodic monster chasing her all the way to the end of the beach. It vomited liberal amounts of electric-green acid across the beach in an attempt to hit the Gems, Peridot and Lapis Lazuli having jumped in to help. Peridot threw a handful of flash-grenades, blinding it briefly as the three ran around it, Lapis threw her trident at the monster, reeling it back in when the three-pronged spear failed to pierce its hide. The monster spat more of the acid as Lapis conjured a large geyser of sea-water from the ocean behind them against the attack, the acid and water diluting each other in a stalemate.

"I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this up!" Lapis shouted as the monster's flow of acid slowly became stronger, pushing the stream of water back.

"It's too tough for any of our attacks to make a dent. Any ideas?" Jasper called out.

"With the length and diameter, Steven's sword might be able to pierce through it," said Peridot before she jumped back from a spray of acid-water mixture landed near her foot.

"Who knows how long that could take?!" Shouted Jasper.

"You asked for an idea and I gave you one," Peridot retorted.

"Not isn't the time guys," Lapis said, straining to keep up the stream. The force of the monster's spray became so strong that it nearly made it to the Gems, liquefying them instantly, when...

"Hey," Steven shouted as he threw a rock at its head. Steven was carrying his Cookie Cat fridge, kept powered by a collection of extension cords that trailed back to the house. "Leave them alone!"

"STEVEN!" The Gems all shouted.

"Get out of here," said Jasper.

"Cookie Cat Crystal Combo Powers Activate!" As he unwrapped a Cookie Cat and took a bite from it. The monster began to salivate as it continue to stare at him, clearly intent on drowning him in the corrosive mixture. He tugged down to reveal his gem, only to swallow suddenly, realizing that his gem wasn't glowing. In a panis, he stuffed the rest of the ice cream into his mouth, but still nothing. "Uh oh," as he made a break for it, tiny fridge and all, as it tried to eat him whole.

"Steven! He needs us," Lapis panicked, only to nearly get her head bitten off by the jaw-like appendage on the monster's end. It continued to attack until Jasper blocked the jaw with the hood of her crash-helmet like a jawbreaker, grabbing the jaw in an effort to try and pry it open.

"Somebody do something!" She ordered.

"Do what?!" Peridot said, frantically tossing handful after handful of light-green cherry-bombs at the monster, the mother Centipeedle barely noticing it.

"Get Steven," shouted Jasper, large cracks appearing on the hammer-like protrusion on her helmet. Just as Lapis was about to come to his aid, more smaller centipeedles dug out from the sand like a colony of sandworms, their jaw clamping over her ankles.

"Get off of me you giant maggots!" She shouted, washing away half a dozen of them with a tide she summoned as she desperately stabbed at the ones holding onto her feet.

"Goodbye my friends," said Steven, stuffing the last two cookie cats that he had left into his mouth. Apart from an impending stomach ache, nothing happened. "Why isn't it working?"

He jumped to safety as the monster spat another stream of acid. He looked back, seeing that the Cookie Cat fridge that he kept the ice cream in was half-melted, giving off sparks. The fridge was done, and Steven mourned.

" _Cookie Cat, he's the pet for your tummy... Cookie Cat, he's super-duper yummy_!" As he looked back at the monster, anger in his eyes. " _Cookie Cat, he left his family behind, Cookie CaaaaAAAAAAT!_ " As he grabbed the fridge, ignoring the sparks, and with a full swing by the electric-cord, threw it at the beast. The Centipeedle, lit up like a roman-candle, crying out in pain. "Now available, nowhere..."

Seeing an opening, Lapis conjured up another stream of water that speared straight at the monster, causing it to poof instantly in a grand, green explosion that could be heard across town. At that was left was a small gemstone - electric green, with a pine-green line that made a circle much like an eye. Jasper picked it up, encasing it in a light-orange bubble.

"Not so tough now, are we?" Jasper taunted before sending the bubble away.

Steven took one of the wrappers on the ground and buried it in a small grave, complete with a stick for a makeshift gravestone. "Good night, sweet prince," he muttered.

"Are you crying?" Jasper asked.

"Only a little."

"Well, I guess your powers don't come from ice cream, then."

"Of course they don't come from ice cream," Peridot remarked. she helped herself, sitting next to Steven on the ground. She set he metal claws on Steven's shoulder assuringly. "I'm sure you'll figure out how to activate your gem. Someday."

"Your a smart kid, little-man. You'll figure it out," said Jasper.

"Yes, in your own way," finished Lapis, laying a motherly hand on his head.

"Yeah. In my own wa-" he started before he suddenly tossed his cookies onto the ground.

* * *

 **As you can tell, I have replaced the "Star" motif that Rose's Crystal Gems with that of the "Diamond" motif for Yellow Diamond's Crystal Gems. You'll see some of the star later.**

 **At the time that I have started writing this, "When it Rains" is the most recent episode that has come out so far, so in order for me to fill in the gaps, I am working to create details myself (like Lapis and Peridot's weapons for instance). If they come out with such details later on, I will try and think of a contrived reason for them not to have them in mind or (if you want) I'll think of a way around it. Peridot and Lapis' weapons are an example of this. So far, Lapis and Peridot do not have revealed weapons (hell, I don't think Peridot even has one) so I had to improvise.  
**

 **I was going to give Lapis a harpoon, but then I thought that would be too much like Pearl's spear, and while I'm more or less copying the plots to the show, I want the characters themselves to be unique. And so the trident appears. Not my most original idea, but what the hell?  
**

 **As for Peridot, the closest thing I saw to a possible weapon would be where in "Warp Tour", she reached into her gem and removed an EMP bomb to deactivate her flask robonoids. This gave me the idea to give this "demolitions expert" idea. She does not have her visor, though she does still have limb enhancers (albeit far more primitive in design i.e. no levitating fingers or touchscreen). Think more "simple, jointed robot hands." The goggles were sort of a last minute thing I came up with to act as a sort of visor-replacement. Also, to those who do not know what "contact juggling" is, ever seen _Jim Henson's Labyrinth_? Contact juggling is those tricks David Bowie does with those crystal balls.  
**


	3. Plasma Bolt Catapult

_**At the time I have started writing this, "Back to the Barn" is currently the most recent episode aired.**_

 **REVIEW RESPONSES**

 *** Tatopatato: I'm giving her an arsenal of bombs because that it is all the show is giving me as a potential weapon. I'm also convinced that Canon!Peridot was not trained for battle, her skills and training put soley into engineering, hence her inability to fight without her fancy arms and legs. Odds are, battle skills aren't something Gems know inherently (or at least peridots). Because of this, she does not know how to summon a weapon (or at least forgot how after years of disuse) and is pretty much a weakling, seeing as how she was unable to remove a metal hatch the Steven popped off without any effort. My incarnation of Peridot is different here, as she was trained to fight by Yellow Diamond and friends for the rebellion, having lived on Earth for thousands of years fighting monsters and the like. Also, I will be giving an explanation on why Lapis is not as powerful here as she is in the show later. Just have patience.**

* * *

 _Plasma Bolt Catapult_

Steven ran across the beach, the thick thump of Jasper's footsteps following suit. Steven made his way past the boardwalk where the fast-food not-chain establishment Beach City Fries laid there waiting like it always had.

"Hey Fryman. Give me the bits," he said suddenly, slamming his palms on the counter.

"Steven, we're closed," Mr. Fryman answered, showing the closed sign. Suddenly, he recoiled in withdrawn horror, Jasper having made it back to

"Give him his bits, Fry-Guy," Jasper stated, giving him a cocky smirk, practically smelling the human man's fear (an impressive feat, given her lack of a nose).

"Yeah!" Said Steven. He then beat his fists on the counter, chanting "the bits, the bits, the bits" again and again. Jasper joined in Steven's impetuous demanding, her large fist and gem-strength tilting the counter at a disagreeable.

"Okay okay, just go easy on the table," Fryman said. He set the grill, allowing the oil to burn as he poured the fry bits into a bag. "I could give you actual fries if you want." In his head though, he was terrified of the orange woman. He was just being polite to Steven.

"Just the bits please." Fryman passed him the bag. "Thanks." As they both walked away, Fryman quickly locked everything up, the look on Jasper's face crushing his will to take his daily inventory. Steven ate the bits, sharing them with Jasper who was helping herself to the ketchup and mustard packets the counter provided.

"Ah sunset, my favorite time of day. The sun goes down and the second sun gets bigger and bigger in the sky."

"Yeah, I know what you mean little ma-" as Jasper started choking on the ketchup and potato in her throat in shock of what what hung in the sky. "What on Earth is _that_ doing here?"

"What is it?" Without warning, the orange quartz grabbed Steven, placing the half-gem child under her arm as she sped across the sand. Steven accidentally dropped his bag by the boardwalk.

* * *

"What could this mean Peridot?" Lapis asked, looking at the ominous orb from the beach-side.

"It could be a drone protocol making its annual route, most likely from-" Peridot lifted her head from the telescope she was viewing to see Jasper having made a grand leap, landing next to the two other Gems.

"Did you two see-"

"We saw. _Some_ of us are trying to protect humanity. Where were you?" Asked Peridot. Jasper gave her a dirty look while Steven, still held under Jasper's arm, said "eating frie-bits." Peridot placed a palm on her forehead while Steven looked through the telescope. The giant ball in the sky opened up, revealing a large, singular eye, glowing an unnatural shade of red.

"Whoa. Its a giant eyeball! Awesome!"

"Steven, this is far from 'awesome'. Its a Red Eye."

"Red Eye! It's going to infect us all!"

"That's _Pink Eye_ , Steven. Not _Red Eye_ ," said Lapis. "If we don't stop this thing, it will crash into Beach City and crush everything in it. Us and every living human here. We need to find a way to stop it."

"What are we going to do?" Asked Steven.

"The only thing powerful enough to destroy such a thing that I could recall would be the plasma bolt catapult," Peridot pondered.

"Plama-what?" Steven asked, confused.

"It was a powerful firing weapon that belonged to Yellow Diamond," answered Jasper.

"My mom?"

"If Yellow Diamond were here, this would be over in mere seconds," mused Lapis.

"But she isn't, and we have no idea where the catapult even is," complained Peridot.

"If it belonged to my mom, maybe my dad would know where it was! He could help us save the day!" Steven's eyes lit with diamonds from the excitement. The Gems, however, were not as excited.

"Steven, sweetie," Lapis began, clearly on the fence, "Greg is nice and all, but if the catapult was anywhere, I doubt it would be with him."

"What Lazuli is trying to say little-man is that your dad is a mess and Yellow Diamond wouldn't give him a weapon like the Plasma Bolt Catapult," said Jasper bluntly.

" _Jasper_ ," Lapis scolded through her teeth.

"For once, Jasper has a point," commented Peridot. "Odds are if Yellow Diamond even _thought_ about leaving the Plasma Bolt Catapult in his grubby hands, he would have lost it, broken it or have gotten himself killed by now."

"No way. I'm sure he's just keeping it somewhere safe. I'll go ask him."

"We can handle this Steven," said Jasper. "Ready?"

"Wuh?" Before Peridot could object, Jasper grabbed the bionic Gem and threw her at the Red Eye, the unwilling green Gem screaming the whole way there before she hit the Red Eye with an undignified _thud_ as she fell into the ocean. Jasper did not seem to care that it did not work, feeling satisfied that she got to toss Peridot. Lapis and Steven just stared incredulously.

"Um, I'm gonna go."

"Okay, good luck," said Lapis in a daze.

* * *

Steven knocked on the back of Greg's van. No response. He tried slamming into the back of Greg's van. Also nothing.

"Dad, are you in there? Wake up, it's time to save the world! Dad?!"

At a loss, Steven climbed onto the roof of the van and began stomping, hoping it would get his attention. He kept stomping until he fell on his back, activating the car alarm. He began to hear something in the van thrashing about, trying to find the door. Out came Greg.

"Who's there? I have a waffle-iron!"

"Dad, its me." Greg turned around, lowering the waffle iron in his hand. He turned the alarm off, squinting his eyes as they adjusted to the day's light.

"Steven?" Steven got off of the van to hug his dad. "I almost waffled your face. What are you doing up so late?"

"What do you mean? The sun just went down an hour ago."

"Oh. It was a slow day at the car-wash," he said honestly, rubbing the back of his neck as he blushed. "Anyway, what's up? Just needed to see your old man? Pal around, learn some lessons about life?

"No! I needed the catapult that belonged to mom to blow-up the giant eyeball."

"Eyeball?"

"That," Steven pointed. Greg saw the impending doom hovering over the horizon. _Wait hold on_ could be heard faintly before Peridot flew across the sky into the eyeball again, squealing _not again_ as she flew.

"Wait, is that a magical thing? The Gems told me not to get involved with magic-stuff. it could be dangerous and interfere with what's left of my hair."

"But they need mom's catapult! You gotta know where it is! Like a sky fortress, or a secret mountain, or a portal to another dimension!"

"Well, I don't now about all that, but I think I know where it might be."

* * *

"A magical storage unit!" Called out Steven excitingly.

"Not exactly, but some would say there's magic inside," Greg winked. Steven didn't get it. "Its just a shed I use to keep things that don't fit in the van. If its anywhere, it'll be in here." He opened the door to the shed, revealing a vast treasure trove of wonders from Greg's extensive past. In an effort to find a way past the boxes blocking the rest of the shed, the blocks collapsed into each other, barricading them in even more.

"If I'm going in there, I'm gonna need some gear!" He grabbed a nearby flashlight and tied it to his head with a sock. To make sure he could make his journey into the center of his dad's stuff, he tied an extension cord to his waist, giving his dad the other end.

"Good luck."

He dug across the floor, shining his light over book-stacks and souvenirs and various other curious from across the nation on his dad's tour.

"Whoa! Cool, it's like a dad museum!" Having found an open enough area, he got to his feet and navigated through all of the garbage. He squeezed through what may have been the various layers of a spring mattress, something caught his eye. "There it is!" He struggled to pick the strange object up, only to realize that it was actually a set of golf-clubs.

"Do you golf?"

"Eh I'd like to think of myself as someone who would golf. Eventually."

He saw something else.

"Yes!" He cleared away the top. It was just a drum. He gave the top a small tap before continuing. He leap over a large bag of what-have-you's before he found a pile to dig through. A set of tennis balls. "No." A torn-up stuffed tiger. "No." A fossilized object that may have been some sort of burrito. "No! Aha!" He picked up another object that looked like a weapon. He pulled the trigger, only for it to fire a T-shirt. He caught the garment, the front of it saying " _Buy T-Shirt Cannons._ " Then he found a box of CD's. "Hey, there's a bunch of copies of your old CD!"

"Awe man, I couldn't give those things away. You know before I ran the car-wash, when I was a one-man band I traveled the whole country."

"I know dad."

"When I came to play a concert here in Beach City no one showed up except-"

"An alligator!" Steven interrupted, enjoying himself.

"No it was your mother."

"I know."

"And we were always together after that, until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world." Steven accidentally stepped on something, making a minor _cracking_ noise. "I don't know what magical lady like her ever saw in a plane old dope like me anyway." Steven looked onto the floor and found the source. It was a photograph of a younger Greg, his head having more hair and his face clean-shaven. One of his hand was holding the camera in-front of him and his then-girlfriend at the time Yellow Diamond, his other hand wrapped around her. Steven's mother's yellow eyes glowing amid-st her calm and relaxing state, her cheeks blushing a darker shade of yellow on her lemon cheeks, shy for the camera. Here she seemed happy, if not less tense and professional than in the portrait the Gems kept of her back at the house.

"Uh dad, I broke a photo."

"S'okay buddy. If every pork-chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot-dogs."

Suddenly a golden glow emanated deeper in the cave-like shed, the glow not unlike the glow that would emanate from Steven's gem.

Meanwhile, Greg was outside, staring and the eye that was seemingly staring back.

"Oh boy, that thing's giving me the willies."

" _Dad, I found it!_ " Shouted Steven.

"Really?"

Steve tied the extension cord around the catapult - the machine looking like a cross between a ballista and the handle from Steven's sword and was twice as big as the half-Gem - as he made sure the cord would not untie itself.

"Get the van!"

The other end of the extension cord was tied to the van's rear-bumper as e ignited the engine and tried to drive off with it. With a bit of struggling (the force nearly popping one of the tires) they were able to tug the giant-crossbow weapon out of the shed, only for all of the contents of the shed in front of it to slide out of the shed at the same time, not unlike an ice-cube from an ice-tray. Both Greg and Steven regrouped.

"This thing could save the city! We gotta get it to the Gems," said Steven.

"How? It's too big for the van," asked Greg.

A red wagon rolled by, giving Steven an idea.

Tying the extension cord to the wagon's handle - reinforce by other extension cords like a rope - they were somehow able to load the _remarkably heavy_ catapult onto the wagon, only for the weight of the weapon to cause the wheels to break off. They looked at each other and shrugged.

* * *

They drove at a painfully moderate speed. The catapult was so heavy that, while not impossible to transport, it put a rather heavy strain on the van and made things difficult.

"Is it gonna be okay?" Steven asked. Greg just shrugged.

"If every pork-chop were perfect..."

"We wouldn't have hot-dogs!" Steven finished.

They turned past the hill behind the car-wash, only to show that the Red Eye has gotten closer, the sky red from its very presence.

"That thing's getting huge," Greg remarked. "It's freaking me out."

"Can't the van go any faster?!" Greg pushed the pedal lower, but to no effect.

"This is faster!"

Sensing the tension, Steven snagged an album from the glove-box.

"Come one, lets put on your CD." The cover showed a younger Greg wearing sunglasses with a goatee laying against the van. The title displayed " _Mr. Universe - Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)_ ".

"What, really? Come on, you've heard it."

"You come one," as Steven placed the CD into the van's CD-player. As the song played, Steven sang along to it, Greg giving a smile of appreciation.

 _I know I'm not that tall_  
 _I know I'm not that smart_  
 _But let me drive my van into your heart_  
 _Let me drive my van into your heart_

 _I know I'm not that rich_  
 _I'm trying to get my start_  
 _So let me drive my van into your heart_  
 _Let me drive my van into your heart_

 _And if we look out of place_  
 _Well, baby, that's okay_  
 _I'll drive us into outer space_  
 _Where we can't hear what people say_

The van made it to the beach where Lapis and Jasper were waiting. Lapis was chucking rocks at the Red Eye with two hand-shaped water constructs, but one may as well have throw pebbles at it. Peridot looked miserable, just having washed ashore with her large, triangular mass of hair now covered in seaweed.

"Please, no more..." she pleaded pathetically before she saw the catapult. "Is that what I think it is?!"

"I don't believe it," Jasper gasped, flabbergasted.

"He actually had it," said Lapis.

The wind then shifted, the gravity within the surrounding area began to weakly pull towards the giant mass in the sky like a small moon. Wires off of telephone-poles undid themselves. Roofing on the beach-house dislodged and flew into the air. It was chaos.

"We have to use it now!" Peridot called out.

"How does it work?" Lapis asked desperately.

"I don't know, it belonged to Yellow Diamond!" Said Jasper, desperately trying to find an on-switch or a button or _something_.

"Dad, how do we use it?" Steven asked. Greg just shrugged. Peridot grabbed onto Steven.

"Steven, I think it might be your gem. You have Yellow Diamond's gem!"

"Out of the way," as Jasper grabbed Steven and pushed him against the catapult, hoping it would do something. "Come on come on come on!"

"Stop it," Lapis chastised. "That isn't helping."

"Fine forget it," said Jasper as she grabbed onto Peridot, intending on throwing her again.

"WAIT, THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!" Peridot freaked.

The shift in gravity suddenly spiked, the van being tugged near the water across the sand.

"Wait, I got this," as he tried to keep the van from slipping away. "Wait, I don't got it."

Steven, still holding onto the catapult, pleaded with it.

"Please work. Unlock, activate, go _please_. Everyone's counting on you. You can't just be useless. I know you can help."

"Its okay Steven," said Greg. "We'll figure out something else. Something even better."

"R-Right. If every pork-chop where perfect, we wouldn't have hot-dogs." The catapult gave off a noticeable humming sound, the swing-arm like components dropped down, as if arrow to being loaded into the crossbow-like mechanism. The arrow-like wand protrusion began to glow as though it was super-heated. The machine thumped forward onto the ground. Steven tried to lift it towards the Red Eye as the Gems came in to help. They aimed the catapult ready to fire.

"We got you Steven," said Lapis.

"Ready, aim," said Jasper.

"Get ready for the kick," warned Peridot.

The whole machine sparked, as if it was channeling the force of a strong thundercloud before the arrow-like component let loose a massive thunderbolt. The lightning-like laser that jutted from it too the form of what would only be Yellow Diamond wielding a sword or a lance, ready to slay the dragon-like Red Eye. The force of the lightning-like laser-blast struck the Red Eye with such intesity that the glowing energy spread all across the giant machine as it slowly came apart piece by piece. As it exploded in a fantastic light, the many pieces of the red eye landed across the town like a meteor shower and nearly destroyed whatever any of it landed on.

Peridot, relieved after what nearly happened, collapsed onto the sand. Lapis just gawked.

"Congrats little-man, you just saved Beach City. Well... most of it."

"Sorry about that," Steven yelled out to Mr. Fryman, his car hit by one of the falling chunks. He yelled out " _what?_ " Peridot got back up, brushing off whatever sad stuck to him.

"How did you get it to work?" Asked Peridot.

"I just said that thing that dad always says."

"You mean the thing about the hotcakes?" Asked Peridot.

"Hot-dogs actually," Lapis corrected. Greg just looked into the night sky, touched by the sentiment.

"Diamond..." as he wiped a tear from his eye.

The tide, made large from the impact of the explosion and the many falling objects came in, soaking all of them (with the exception of Lapis, who repelled it from herself hydrokinetically). They all had a good laugh, still high off of their victory, until Greg's van came and went with the tide.

"My van!"

"It's okay dad. If every pork-chop were perfect-"

"I live in there!" He called out as he chased after his van.

* * *

 **I know "Plasma Bolt Catapult" might seem like a mouthful, but it sounded clever when I wrote it. Plus the idea of Yellow Diamond's Crystal Gems utilizing plasma in some ways comes into play later.**

 **I'd like to think that Greg brought out a nice, less tense part of Yellow Diamond. She was a leader and a warrior, and she probably did not need to act like the strong one all of the time when around him. Canon!Rose Quartz was _always_ maternal and _always_ loved humans, all Canon!Greg did was show her a different way to love them.**

 **Please leave reviews and comments. It is the secret power-source that fuels the Catapult. Not really, but still.**


	4. Cheeseburger Backpack

**By the time this chapter has been published, "Log Date 7 14 2" has been the most recent episode of _Steven Universe_.  
**

 **That's right guy, I didn't forget this fic, nor did you forget you guys. It was just a comination of writers block and other editing-related difficulty.  
**

 **REVIEW RESPONSES**

 *** Ultimate Black Ace: This incarnation of Lapis is indeed not nearly as powerful as her canon-counterpart, nor does she have wings. Don't worry though, I'm giving an explanation for both in a later chapter.  
**

 *** Curse of Kings: No.**

* * *

 _Cheeseburger Backpack_

It was a calm, sunny day in Beach City. The seagulls were chirping, the sand was white, the water was blue and what was left of the Red Eye was either removed or ignored by everyone. Steven placed himself on a rock just outside of the temple next to the mailbox.

" _Hey Mr. Postman give me a post. Give me a post that I love the most_ ," he sung to himself, his legs swinging against the rock he was sitting on. Then came the mailman. "My song came true! Do you have a package for me today?!"

"Hold on, let me see what I've got here. Did you order a loaf of bread with a stamp on it?"

"No," said Steven.

"Did you order a jury-summons for R.J. Finkle?"

"That's not me. I'm Steven."

"Oh, right, right, right, Steven. Here it is. _Steven Universe_ ," he read from the box he retrieved from his bag.

"Ah! This thing is going to help me save the world," said Steven.

"Really? It says it's from _Wacky-Sack Supply Company_."

"Jasper, Peridot and Lapis Lazuli think I shouldn't go on magical adventures with them because I don't know how to use my Gem-powers."

"...that seems reasonable," answered the Mailman, pretending he knows what Steven is talking about.

"But there are other ways I can help!"

"With a wacky sack?"

"Exactly!"

"You know how you can save my world?" He asked Steven. He took out a small electronic device. "Sign here please." Steven signed his first name in print, garnishing it with various little diamonds around it. "Barb yells at me if I don't get signatures."

"That's awful!" A light suddenly emitted from the beach-house with a sudden noise, the same kind of light and noise given off by the warp-pad. "Jasper, Peridot and Lapis are back!" Steven grabbed the box and ran back into the house.

"Wait Steven," called out the mailman. " _What is_ a wacky sack?!"

* * *

When he opened the door, he saw that Peridot's hair was full of feathers that she was desperately trying to get out. "Hello Steven," she muttered.

"Jasper, we don't need that," said Lapis. "It's not going to fit in the fridge."

"Oh what do you know," said Jasper who was holding what Steven could only describe as a large dinosaur egg. She carelessly removed the tray in the fridge that held a carton of milk and a bag full of baggles to the ground as she stuffed the giant egg into the fridge. "See? Told you it would fit." She slammed the door with a loud crack. This was confirmed to have been the egg, as yolk started leaking from under the fridge-door. "See? My kill, my keep."

"We fought a giant bird," Peridot told Steven, wincing slightly as she removed a large twig from her hair. "We're only here for a second. We've got to go back out."

"What? Why?" He asked. Peridot took a small statue from Lapis's hands. "We have to place this Moon Goddess Statue on top of the lunar Sea-Spire before midnight. Without it, the whole place will fall apart. It was an oasis for gems back in the day, Steven. A true resort for Gem-kind."

"Well it wasn't that great," said Lapis, strangely moody and unenthusiastic.

"But we can still save it with this statue," said Peridot who ignored the blue Gem.

"Wah? That's perfect!" said Steven.

"What? Why?"

"Because I can help carry it for you in this," as he opened the box, revealing a large cheeseburger with straps in the lower bun, making dramatic noises as he showed it to them.

"A giant cheeseburger?" Asked Jasper jokingly. "Can I have some?"

"It's a novelty backpack shaped like a cheeseburger! I was just gonna wear it one day and you guys would be like 'dang Steven, that's so cool.' But this is obviously important Gem business."

"Yes," said Peridot. "So you should let us take care of it."

"Ah come on Peridot," said Jasper, resting her elbow on Peridot's head obnoxiously. "What better way can he learn than by doing? Besides, it's definitely not as dangerous as every other mission we do."

" _Not dangerous_?! The Sea Spire has been neglected for years. Who knows how unstable it could be at this time?!"

"Oh come off it, Peridot! He'll be fine," Said Jasper.

"You come off it you _clod!_ " Shouted Peridot.

" _Guys!_ " Shouted Steven, getting their attention. "I can do this. I'm a Gem too you know," as he pulled down his shirt's collar to show his gem. He gave them a pouty-face, complete with big, sad, eyes with diamonds in them.

Peridot pinched in between her eyes with irritation. "Alright, alright, you can carry it in your bag." Lapis gave a panicked expression as Peridot passed him the Moon Goddess Statue. Steven crouched down and opened the lower bun of his backpack.

"Um Peridot I don't think we should..."

"Check this out. Everything's a pocket. Even the cheese is a pocket! I can fit a lot more stuff in here. Be right back," as Steven went to gather food, extra clothing and various other memorabilia that did not seem to have a real purpose. He accidentally stepped on one of his toys as it made a dejected squeak.

" _Ooh, don't shake me,_ " said the toy.

"Awe, Mr. Queezy," he laughed as it made various other pleas and complaints as he shook it. "You're definitely going to come in handy," as he removed the first aid kit to make room in his bag.

" _Come on Steven, we have to get moving,_ " said Peridot from the warp.

"I'm coming," he answered.

"Steven, did you bring your whole room?" Peridot uttered at the size.

"Come on, we have a tower to topple," said Jasper.

"We aren't _toppling_ it. We are trying to save it, remember?" Said Peridot.

"Pff, whatever," answered Jasper. Peridot pinched in-between her eyes and took a cleansing breath.

"Okay, let's warp."

The warp pad activated, a tall, white light erupted from the edge of the pad, their journey hindered by Steven, who's stomach got in the way.

"Come on little man, we can't doddle," as Jasper grabbed the back of Steven's shirt, lifting him up closer to her, allowing the warp pad to activate properly.

As they were moving through space through the warping tunnel, Jasper let Steven go, allowing him to free-float. He kept doing flips and twirls in mid-air, the half-gem laughing as he floated.

"Steven," gasped Lapis, "you could get hurt like that." Despite her reluctance to go, Steven was still a big priority to her. She grabbed him and held on to him until the warp took them to their destination.

* * *

As they completed their trip through the warp, gravity re-manifested, causing Steven to fall back to the ground with a dejected _thud._

They were surrounded by a giant waterfall that circled them and the structure before them; a massive tower with tall windows and a visibly crumbling infrastructure. Peridot cringed overtly as a large piece of the tower wall dislodged, crumbling. Jasper was not as animated, though she was clearly shocked by what she saw. Lapis, surprisingly, was not nearly as struck, looking at the tower like it was simply in her way.

"It did not look nearly this poorly managed one hundred years ago," said Peridot. She pulled out a small computer-like device she had strapped to her hip. "We need to watch ourselves. This place has a high amount of structural instability."

"Oh yeah, that's never good," said Steven, blissfully unaware of the part of land he was standing on becoming unstable. Lapis was first to notice, creating a small rope from a puddle near her and caught Steven before he fell to his death. She held onto him like a safety blanket.

"Alright, alright, I think Steven has had enough adventure for one day. I'm taking Steven back while you guys take care of the mission, okay?" Lapis made her way to the portal, almost skipping at the chance of aborting the mission as Steven squirmed in her grasp.

"Lapis," said Peridot, blocking her way. "Your the only one who knows the shortest path to the top of the Sea-Spire. We need you on this mission!"

"But what about Steven?" Asked Lapis as she raised the boy up to eye-level. A squeak came from Steven's backpack as he broke free from Lapis' grip, finding his talking toy from the top-bun.

"Oh, Mr. Queezy," as he shook the toy, laughing at the noises it made.

"Steven!" Shouted Peridot. "I want you to be here, really I do, but the Sea-Spire is a part of your heritage and I want you to take this seriously."

"You got it dude," as Steven gave her a thumbs up. Peridot was lost.

"Um..."

"If you three are done doing each-others hair, maybe we can get back to breaking in," said Jasper.

They made their way to the closest cliff between them and the tower ahead. As Jasper was about to make a jump for it, Lapis got in her way.

"What? We could make this jump easy," state Jasper.

"Not here," she said. She pointed down where the building meets the water. "The magic that sustains the falls that surround us isn't stable any more," gesturing to the whirlpool at the very bottom, her hydrokinetic potential allowing her to sense the flow of magic. "It has created a vortex. We jump and we'll be sucked in." She took a nearby rock and flung it towards the other side to illustrate her point, the rock freezing in midair momentarily before it fell into the water.

"See, your being useful already," patronized Peridot. Lapis gave her a dirty look.

"Can't you just stop the whirlpool yourself?" Asked Jasper.

"A few hundred years ago, maybe. But the current and the tech made to keep it going is too strong for me now, so..."

Jasper understood instantly.

"Alright. What we'll need is to circle around the perimeter and find a shorter route. There, Jasper's comet propulsion might be able to carry..." as Peridot rambled, Steven pulled out a stack of sweaters from his new backpack, tying two of them together as he managed to make a makeshift rope from it. He managed to loop the other end of the makeshift rope, diamonds in his eyes with determination. It was only when he charged toward the tower did Jasper notice what he was doing.

"STEVEN WAIT!"

Steven jumped off of the cliff, clutching on the sweaters for dear life as the enhanced gravity gripped at his heels before landed on the side of the tower. Before he could feel his fingers ache, sweat forming on his forehead, he made a run up the wall.

" _Cheeeesebuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrgeeeeeeeer!_ " As he made it to an entrance in the Sea-Spire, panting a cold-sweat. While Lapis and Peridot looked like they were going to have a heart-attack, Jasper was impressed.

"Not bad little-man," as she grabbed two other sweaters that Steven left for them and made another rope. She grabbed the other gems under her arms and she repeated Steven's tactic, her feet digging through the rock of the tower's wall as she ran up the wall, the other gems screaming as she did. Jasper rolled into a spin-dash (the green and blue gems she was holding onto feeling the urge to vomit if they could), climbing up the wall until they reached the same ledge as Steven.

"Never do that again!" Shouted Peridot, shell-shocked.

"What? It got us in, didn't it?" Said Jasper as she carelessly let them go.

"Yes, well..." began Peridot, but she gave up. "Alright, fine. I'll admit it, that was pretty... amazing," as she placed a robotic palm on Steven's head before she kept going. Jasper ruffled his hair as she followed. He expected Lapis to finish him off like usual, only to find her staring at a mural on the wall, illustrating a vast, diverse landscape, a sun on the horizon, a large group of people too tiny to make out building things while a large blue woman in a cowl looked on with another blue gem directing the people, like a Pharaoh constructing his city in the desert. While Steven thought it was pretty cool, Lapis stared at it with horror.

"Lapis?" She did not react. "Lapis, are you okay?"

She grabbed her hand. Lapis snapped out of her stupor, blinking profusely.

"W-What, Steven?"

"You okay?"

"...yeah."

* * *

The whole tower was trashed. The foundation of the brick-work, the mural patterns, statues, railings, everything was either crumbling or visibly damaged in some manner.

Peridot, a fan of the geometric architecture and the resources found within, cringed and moaned at every little crack and imperfection she could see in the tower.

"If you're going to keep whining like this Peridot, I'll have your gem," threatened Peridot.

"I'm not _whining_ Jasper, I'm... voicing my concern," said Peridot.

"So _whining_ , then."

"What was this place for anyway?" Steven asked.

"It was a magnificent temple that was the pinnacle of Gem-culture and architecture in its hay-day. An oasis for Gems on Earth" Peridot brought up a well-detailed illustration of the tower on her tablet device, featuring a near-perfect rendering of the tower, cleaned and polished with Gem strangers walking and talking through the same corridors they were walking through. "I wish you could have seen the real thing Steven. The gem-tech we made in the lower levels you just wouldn't believe," as Peridot started waxing nostalgia.

"We have all of that back at Beach City," said Lapis.

"But do we have a computer capable of calculating 3.9 trillion yottabytes of gemological data necessary for..."

As Lapis and Peridot kept arguing, Steven let his attention span wander. He made his way to a statue - its head caved in and its four arms making a sign of prayer and meditation - as Jasper pulled the bickering Gems apart.

"Are you two going to be arguing the _entire_ mission?!" Jasper growled.

"Hey guys look at this," called out Steven. Crawling over the statue where three giant grub-like creatures with small bits of glass shard-like crystals jutting from their backs. Steven laughed at the strange little critters as he reached out to pet it, only to be grabbed away from it by Jasper. Peridot threw a small handful of cherry-bombs at the statue, causing a small number of explosions, knocking the worm-things off and destroying the statue in the process.

"What are those goobers?" Asked Steven.

"Crystal Shrimp," answered Lapis who speared a critter remaining, the animal squirming helplessly at the middle prong on her trident. "Their shards a deadly, Steven. Try not to touch them."

"You mean like those?" As Steven pointed at the staircase, covered in Crystal Shrimp. Lapis kebab-ed as many as she could while Peridot placed bombs in specific areas (power set on "Stun") and chased them all away, only to find an infestation on crystal shrimp crawling all over the place.

"They're everywhere!" Peridot cried, her OCD getting the best of her.

"We can see that," said Jasper. "So how many bombs is this going to take?"

"With the number of shrimp crawling about this the amount of bombs it would take to clear a path could also bring down the entire tower. What we need is a plan. Lapis, is there any other way to the top floor from this part of the tower?"

"No. The only other way is completely blocked off," answered Lapis, who pointed to an archway completely blocked by a set of boulders.

"Hmm," Peridot pondered, taking the makeshift touchscreen strapped to her side and drawing up specs.

"Jasper, you go around to the side and disturb them with a ground-based comet thrust. When they all are herded to this exact spot _here_ , Lapis should be able to wa-"

" _Bagel-Sandwich_ ," cried Steven as he threw half a-dozen sandwiches from his backpack, bits of sliced bagel, cheese and ham splayed across the floor. The various shrimp herded to the different piles of bread and lunch-meat, clearing them a path to the stairway. They all stood there stunned before Jasper started laughing, slapping her knee. Lapis ruffled his hair, praising his ingenuity.

"I-I, how... did you know that would work?!" Asked Peridot, looking back and forth between Steven and her notes.

"Well, if I was a shrimp, that's what I would do."

"Yeah, ' _if you were a shrimp_ '. Come here you," as Jasper grabbed him and gave him a light noogie. Steven laughed hard, verbally protesting before they all made it to the stairs. Peridot gave her notes a look before sighing in defeat, erasing the screen before joining back with the group.

* * *

At the top of the steps, Lapis suddenly cried out for them to stop, sensing the strong currents suddenly bursting a hole in the wall, forming a river to block their path. Lapis tried stopping the waterfall with her hydrokinesis, but the magical circuitry of the building was too strong.

"We can't catch a break today can we?" Asked Jasper. Jasper and Peridot gave an expecting look at Steven.

"What? Me?" He asked.

"Any ideas little man?" Asked Jasper. "Your on a role. _Cheeseburger Backpack, Cheeseburger Backpack,_ " she sang. "Come on guys."

As she sang, Lapis and Peridot gave each other a look before Peridot shrugged and joined her. With some effort, Steven found what he was looking for in the tomato slice of his bag.

"A raft!" He cried out as he pulled a small raft, tugging the handle and inflating it instantly.

"Steven that's so sensible," said Peridot, thoroughly impressed.

Without thinking, Steven through the raft onto the river, where it floated away off of the waterfall. Lapis, Peridot and Steven just stared at the edge the raft fell from.

"Well, I'm sure you'll get it next time sweety," said Lapis, patting his head.

Jasper leaned against a nearby wall.

"Great now what?" She asked irritated before the diamond-shape her palm was against sunk in. Suddenly, the wall moved out of the way, revealing a spiraling staircase. Jasper looked through it.

"Hey, I think these stairs lead through the whole tower," said the orange gem.

They all looked with her before Peridot turned an evil eye to Lapis.

"Wait, did you know about this secret passageway before?" Asked Peridot.

Lapis looked at Peridot and then back to the secret door. "Um... no?"

* * *

They each climbed the ladder - Jasper struggling a bit due to the width of the passageway - before they managed to climb themselves to the very roof of the spire.

Steven marveled at the stars above, the rooftop's diameter clear and clean and good for star-gazing.

"There it is," Peridot stated, pointing to a lone figure standing on the center of the roof. It was a statue of a tall, blue Gem garbed in a long robe with a hooded feature that obscured her face, her gemstone found on the center of her chest not unlike Steven. Her right hand was placed on the shoulder of a much smaller, human-sized statue of another blue Gem that suspiciously looked like-

The smaller statue's head was destroyed instantly when a trident went through the figure's neck, its head grumbling into tiny little chunks.

"Lapis?" Asked a concerned Steven.

"Can we just get this mission over with?" Said a fuming Lapis asking no one specifically.

"Hmm, yes," responded Peridot. "All we need to do is place the moon goddess statue onto the alter within the center of the spire." In the now-headless statue's hands held a silvery, bowl-like receptacle with a socket in the middle of it meant to fit the statue in perfectly.

Steven, knowing what to do, dug through the contents of his large bun. Then the lettuce. Cheese. Tomato. Patty.

"Steven?" Asked Peridot.

"I...I don't have it," stuttered Steven.

"What?!"

"I must have left it on the bed!"

The group looked up to the moon as it positioned itself over the spire.

"There... there's no time..." said Peridot, forlorn.

"You mean we came all this way for nothing?!" Shouted Jasper.

"W-wait, I have an idea!" As Steven dug through his backpack and pulled out his talking toy.

" _Ooh, don't shake me._ "

"Steven, this is no time for games," said Peridot as she started scratching at her hair vigorously, a panic attack setting in.

"...could that actually work?" Asked Jasper, looking to Lapis. The blue gem didn't answer.

Steven placed Mr. Queasy on the altar, the toy giving a sick noise as it fell on its side before a light shot from the altar. The toy began to float, looking as though Steven's plan was beginning to work, only for the force of lunar energy running through the fabric and batteries tore the toy to pieces. A massive quake set off, all of the magical energy that kept what was left of the tower together shut off like a blackout as the ocean began to close in on them. Lapis grabbed Steven as a reflex, preparing to protect Steven from the sheer force of the ocean before the tower succumbed to the ocean waves. In sheer moments, the Gem Sea-Spire was swallowed up by the ocean, never to see the light of day again.

Steven rose above the surface of the water, breathing heavily before Lapis rose above him, still clinging to him. Using her hydrokinetic potential, she slowly rose, still holding on to him before she was standing on the surface of the water. Jasper broke the surface of the water, holding on to a very dejected Peridot.

"Why do you have to be so heavy?" Asked Jasper.

"I wasn't built to swim," complained Peridot. "The metal used for my enhancers weighs me down."

"Are you okay Steven?" Asked Lapis.

"No! This is all my fault. I broke it," said Steven hysterically.

"What? No, you didn't destroy it. The spire was falling apart when we got here, you did everything well under pressure," assured Lapis.

"Well, two out of four of your ideas worked anyway. While 50% isn't exactly pa-CKA!" Spat Peridot, Jasper head-locking her before she could put her foot in her mouth.

"I think what Peridot is trying to say is that we wouldn't have gotten very far anyways without you," said Jasper.

"...yeah, I guess your right," said Steven.

Suddenly, the raft that floated off before suddenly resurfaced. Lapis sat him down in it before the rest of them climbed on it. Lapis looked at the ocean, lost in thought.

"Lapis?"

"Hmm? Y-yes Steven?"

"Are you okay?"

She sat there, giving her answer some thought.

"Yeah. I'll be fine," she responded. She twiddled her thumbs for a moment. "Steven..."

"Yeah?"

"Um... many years ago, a certain Gem was commissioned to build the Sea-spire. That gem had to use whatever means necessary to see that project through, and that gem may have... had to use whatever, or whoever, she could find."

Steven thought back at their adventure. The way Lapis has been acting, the mural, the statue...

"It's okay Lapis," said Steven. "I make mistakes too. We can't all be winners. It's what we learn from them is what's really important."

While Steven was clearly too young an naive to get the full story, Lapis appreciated his comforting words none the less.

"Alright, so which way is the temple?" Asked Jasper.

Lapis looked at the night sky, using the stars as marks.

"If I remember right, the temple should be that way," she pointed forward.

"It's still a three hour paddle home," said Peridot, polishing the lenses of her wet goggles.

"Don't worry. I got us covered," said Lapis. Still on her knees, she waved her hand as suddenly the waters around them formed a tide, pushing the raft and the gems towards the horizon.

"Hey Lapis," said Steven.

"Yes Steven?" Asked Lapis.

"Your so awesome." Lapis blushed a soft majorelle blue, smiling at the little boy's words.

"I know."

* * *

 **Took me four chapters but Peridot _finally_ says "clod." Also, I know Gems don't actually breath, but what else could I say other than "cleansing breath"? As for the swim thing, I doubt she would also know how to swim wearing heavy limb enhancers such as herself, especially when the ones she is wearing in this fanfic are so primitive.  
**

 **I would also like to give credit to fanfic writer flamewarp for his/her fanfic "Momswapped" for giving me the idea for Lapis' connection to the Sea-Spire. Thank you very much.**


	5. Together Breakfast

**By the time this chapter has been published, the promos to "Super Watermelon Island" and "Barn Mates" have gone up, but the episodes themselves have not.  
**

 **REVIEW RESPONSES**

 ***** **turn forever you and me: No, but she's not a fan either. And yes.  
**

 *** Curse of Kings: I'm not changing the first chapter. I do have a plan for it, don't worry.**

* * *

 _Together Breakfast_

Steven unlocked the window, letting the ocean winds waft against his skin. He stared at the morning horizon.

"Everyone's out," said Steven. "Guess I'm making everyone breakfast."

Steven rummaged through the pantry, the fridge and virtually everywhere in the kitchen, finding the ingredients he needed. He stacked a plate of waffles for every member of the house, smothering it with a liberal portion of maple syrup.

"Jasper? Lapis? Peridot? Is anyone home?" Steven asked as he beat his fist against the door, trying to get someone to answer.

He placed a few bags of unpopped popcorn into the microwave, the crackling sound of the kernels building in the device as Steven dumped the contents of the bags onto the plate like glitter on glue.

"One, two, three, warp in!" Steven goaded, sitting by the warp-pad, hoping one of the gems would appear.

Steven brought out the can of whipped-cream, applying a heafty amount of the creamy goodness.

"Lapis, Jasper, Peridot," Steven called out from the front door.

Steven took a strawberry from the fridge, placing the large healthy berry onto the whip-cream as carefully as possible, wanting it to be just right. Proud of his finished creation, Steven brought up the plate. "It's done!" He slumped over the counter. "That thing's too good for me to eat alone. It's a... 'Together Breakfast!'" Suddenly, the warp pad went off, causing Steven to fall over. From the column of light stood Peridot, keeping a rolled-up scroll under her arm as she typed over her tablet.

"Hey Peridot, check it out? It's not exactly healthy," as he showed her his plate, "but it's in a stack. So I guess you could say it's a 'balanced breakfast?'"

Peridot stood there awkwardly, rather lost on the pun.

"You know because I made us all breakfast and I thought we could all eat together like best buds."

"Um, that's really thoughtful Steven, but I have business that needs attending."

"Business? Like what?" Steven asked.

"I found this ancient gem artifact hidden deep beneath the sky temple and I need to run some tests on it and, most likely, annihilate it off the face of the planet." She unrolled the scroll, the black paper displaying several glowing eldritch symbols of great fear and power. Fascinated by the scroll, Steven took out his phone and took a picture of the scroll with it, only for Peridot to snatch it out of his hands.

"Hey!"

"Sorry Steven. I'm going to have to remove all traces of this artifact when I am finished. You'll get your device back after I have erased it of all of its content." She pushed the goggles on her head upward, allowing the gem on her forehead room before it began to glow. The green dot on the south-side of the diamond shape on the door began to glow, the door slowly beginning to disintegrate into a cloud of green pixels before it reformed behind her. Steven ran up to the door.

"Hey, my apps!" Steven placed the together breakfast on a nearby table as he took off his shirt as he shoved his gem against the door. "Door. Open door," he commanded. It did not seem to listen. "Awe, it never works when I need it."

Without warning, Steven was tackled to the ground by Jasper, who was hiding in the rafters of the house. They rolled around on the ground like a pair of lion cubs, Steven laughing as he was used to Jasper's rough housing. Jasper was on her back as she held the comparatively small boy with both of her hands.

"Hey little man, what's up?"

"Jasper! When did you get back?"

"I came through the front door while you and Dot were talking. You didn't notice me so I thought of testing your reflexes. You failed, so now you must face the penalty," said Jasper as she placed Steven on his back as she started tickling him. Steven writhed on the ground, laughing like crazy, wanting to escaping the gem's playful assault, when the door activated again. The orange dot on the diamond on the door began to glow, the door dissolving into what looked like a pile of orange sand on the floor. Outstepped Lapis, holding in her hands what looked like a plate carved out of orange stone with a star carved into the top.

"Wait a minute, that's my room!" Jasper suddenly got up, forgetting about Steven as she stomped over to Lapis.

"Hello Jasper," stated Lapis apathetically.

"What were you doing in _my_ room?!"

"Oh I was just looking for my lost antique pentacle when I just stumbled upon it in your room. How exactly did it get there?" Asked Lapis rhetorically.

"I needed a frisbee. What's it to you?"

Lapis gave her a sour look before she regained herself.

"You know what, it's fine," said Lapis. "It gave me time to give a nice long look at your _axe collect_." Jasper caught her tone and didn't like it.

"What did you do to my axes?" Asked Jasper, gripping her teeth.

"Oh nothing. I just got a sponge and _polished_ a few of them."

"YOU DID WHAT? I've had those for thousands of years! They'll rust," as Jasper ran through the door, Lapis satisfied with pushing her buttons.

"Jasper, wait! Oh man," said Steven.

"What's the matter Steven?" Asked Lapis.

"I wanted us all to have breakfast together, so I made Together Breakfast. But everyone keeps leaving..."

"Hmm, yes that's nice," said Lapis, who wasn't really listening. The gem on her back glowed as the blue dot on the left side of the diamond glowed. The door became a surface of water as the now transparent archway opened itself up to her like a curtain, letting her through. Lapis walked into her room, walking on the surface of the pool before she suck into it moments after.

"Oh no!" Steven grabbed the plate. "I can't let this become 'Together Brunch'." He ran to the door, being able to squeeze through the curtains to Lapis' room before it reformed.

Steven was amazed by what he saw. The room had no light source, and yet the whole room was lit by what looked to him like a small plaza floating above a small lake that composed most of the room's floor. The plaza was composed of four shining towers lined up with a series of ornate mirrors on a flat, circular floor, connected to the doorway by a small flight of stairs a few meters away from the door. In the center of the plaza stood a giant fountain, the water spouting from the fountain flowing through the four towers and down into the pool. The only thing in the room that felt out of place was a series of large green-tinted machines connected to the ceiling from a series of wires that led into the pool, the machines resembling large amps, muted but are clearly doing something given the movement of the mechanisms.

From the fountain rose Lapis, her hair and dress blown by a nonexistent breeze, the light coming from the plaza's floor giving her the look of an ocean goddess, possessing great and terrible power. With her rose a yellow rod, a dark-blue cup and a lime-green dagger, each floating in mid-air in-sync. She placed the pentacle near them, the disk now floating with them. She gave a satisfied huff.

"HEY LAPIS!" Steven called out.

"S-Steven!" Said Lapis, the four objects abruptly dropping back into the fountain. "What are you doing in here? You know it's dangerous for you inside the temple!" She snapped her fingers, causing the door to reopen back into the beach-house.

"We're going to have a nice together breakfast, even if I get my shoes wet." He stepped into the pool, keeping the plate of sweet and salty confections above the surface.

"What?! Get out of there!"

"I'll swim it over to you. See? Doggy paddle forward" It was only then that he realized that it was not a large shadow below the floating plaza, but it was actually a drain, all of the water pouring into the floor draining out below. "Oh gosh! Wait, doggy paddle reverse! Reverse! Reverse!"

Lapis went to the edge of the plaza and looked below it. "Steven!"

* * *

As he fell down the seemingly endless waterfall, he realized that the waterfall was defying physics, the water's current looping and twisting in impossible ways. "Keep it together, breakfast!" After riding the waterfall like a water-park slide, Steven finally landed in a large puddle, the boy washing ashore with the plate just above his head.

He shook himself dry (or close enough at least) and took in his surroundings. The landscape looked like what Steven could only describe as a canyon from a cartoon. The various cliffs and ledges were diamond-cut and polygonal. The rock was orange with varying shades of yellow decorating the land. The ceiling was a dark shade of purple not unlike a sky at dusk. Steven left to follow a line of what looked like swords embeded in the ground. Claymores, edgeswords, longswords, katanas, great knifes and every other kind of sword imaginable followed a line in the ground, climbing up and back down the various towering mesas and boulders that littered the landscape. Sometimes it would be intersected with other marching-lines of other weapons like axes and daggers, maces and morningstars, flails and clubs, etc. Steven heard grunting and muttering and followed it.

Steven found Jasper crouching next to a pool of black-purplish tar-like substance, applying it to a broadsword and scrubbing it furiously with a wash-cloth.

" _Stupid Lapis Lazuli... water witch and her invasive-_ "

"Hey, Jasper-" Steven stopped his sentence as Jasper held her blade against his shoulders, just stopping herself from cleaving his head from his shoulders.

"Oh hey Steven. When did you get here?" Jasper went back to polishing, seemingly unphased that she almost cut the half-gem's head off.

"J-just a minute ago. I went into Lapis' room and..."

"You came down the waterfall? Lapis always complains that her things end up in my room. If she doesn't like it, then she should plug that drain up then. Or at least put it somewhere else."

"Must be tough."

"Yeah. And to top it all of, she touched my weapons. She left her fingerprints all over it. See?" She presented the blade to Steven. Gems did not actually have individual prints, but it was clear that someone other than Jasper had touched them.

"You got a lot of weapons down here."

"I know, isn't it great? After most battles I like to keep souvenirs with me. Makes a good reminder," she said, sticking the sword into the ground next to her.

"Of what?"

"That I still got it," she said smugly, flexing her muscles. "Say, what's that?" She pointed to the waffles and whip cream.

"It's a together breakfast."

"Alright, snacks!" She tried to take the plate, but Steven moved it away.

"No! We got to eat it together. That is the essence of together breakfast."

"Oh..." said Jasper. Suddenly, she tried to grab the plate, but Steven managed to avoid it. "Seems your reflexes have gotten better. Oh well!" Steven bolted for a tunnel by the nearby wall, the orange gem chasing after him on all fours like a predator.

"We have to eat it together," Steven shouted desperately. They ran, running across the walls and ceilings, the magical properties of the temple creating a distortion for them in gravity. Jasper bounced across the walls like a jungle cat trading branches on a tree.

"You can't get away little man! I'm the bird and your the worm," laughed Jasper maniacally, finding a thrill in the chase.

Steven reached the end of the tunnel, opening up to a series of floating stones above an endless abyss. Taking his chance he jumped across the stones into a tunnel on the other side where a series of vein-like yellow branches came from.

" _Oh Steven, I'm hungry!_ "

"You're completely missing the point of this!" Having reach the end, in an act of impulse, he jumped and grabbed onto one of the pillars he found in front of him.

"W-wha hey, hold on!" Said Jasper.

"Steven, there you are!" Said Lapis, having just came from a different doorway.

"Lapis, sweet! Now all we need is Peridot." The gems were clearly not happy, making careful steps toward him.

"Steven, be careful," said Lapis.

"Why?" He looked up, finding himself clinging to the root of what looked like a tree composed entirely out of yellow crystal, many massive, towering branches with pure crystal leaves and many large roots stretching across the many archways the led out from the room. "Wow..."

"You really shouldn't be here. This is the Grand Amber! It's connected to the most dangerous areas of the temple! Hold on tight and don't look down!"

Against the blue gem's orders, Steven looked down, not seen a floor underneath. He panicked, partially loosing his grip and sliding down it like a pole, the plate making a mild scrapping noise as he did.

* * *

Peridot had the artifact held down on her desk. In her room, all of the various gems and items of interest the Gems has collected over the years were being kept. Her room was filled with gem-tech that she has either engineered or reverse engineered over the centuries, all tinted in various shades of green and yellow, the only sources of light from the many moniters and advanced lighting systems. In the center of the room held a pool of molten metal complete with a latch, used for both disposing of harmful substances and smelting metal should she ever need it. She weighed the scroll down with a group of green pyramid-shaped paper weights. She held a very delicate acidic compound in one hand while the other carried a pair of tweezers and a cotton ball laced with the compound, hoping to get a reaction.

Steven saw Peridot handling it with extreme care, so he slid down the branch onto the ground without alarming her. Lapis and Jasper caught up, looking down to him from the hole in the roof he came from.

" _Steven,_ " Jasper whispered.

" _We need to get out of here,_ " Lapis finished.

"This is great! We're all together!"

Startled by the noise, Peridot accidentally dropped the entire compound onto the desk, causing the liquid to completely eat through both the scroll and the desk.

"We can finally eat! I don't have any forks, but we can use our hands. I wouldn't judge."

From the melted metal and paper rose a morose black smoke that seemed to gather and manifest. Peridot reacted and bubbled it in a lime-green bubble, but it desperately fought to get out.

"Steven?! I thought we agreed that he shouldn't be in the temple until he was ready?!" Cried of Peridot.

"Steven! You need to go!" Shouted Lapis as she and Jasper prepared for the worst.

"Okay. Do you want to meet in the kitchen?"

Without warning, the smoke broke free from the bubble it was trapped in, creating a massive cloud that expanded through the room's ceiling.

"It's trying to escape!" Shouted Jasper.

"Force it back," shouted Lapis as the gems summoned their weapons. Jasper rammed her crash helmet into its base, causing it to retreat to the ceiling as it formed hands, trying to grab at Steven. Peridot threw a small flurry of flash-grenades at its base while Lapis fought off the hands with a series of spinning blocks and quick thrusts.

"We need to keep it here until we can properly contain it again," said Peridot. "If it manages escape, it will latch onto the nearest form of organic matter and-" as Peridot ranted, the black smoke dart around them and tackled Steven. The smoke managed not to hit Steven, but rather his together breakfast, the stack of waffles, sugar and popcorn expanding until it formed into huge connfectionary concoction of evil. The creature formed feet to stand, the now-sentient source of starch staring down at him with its featureless face, roaring before it was speared through the back by Lapis.

"...do exactly that," finished Peridot. Lapis realed her trident back in through the water-chain it was connected to.

"What now brainiac?" Asked Jasper before she and Lapis were pinned to the wall by one of the monster's large (and sticky) arms. The monster held Lapis' trident and snapped it in two, the chain and trident pieces vanishing instantly.

"It's taken on the proportional strength of a breakfast. This is going to be harder than anticipated," muttered Peridot. She formed a series of bombs, rolling them across the floor as they went off, hoping to stun the beast.

"Ah, it's horrible," cried out Lapis as she felt the gooey mass that held her against the wall sink through every nook and cranny of her dress, her arms and legs useless at fighting it off. Peridot formed more bombs in her arm, only for that very same arm to get caught in the gooey body, the detonation cushioned and useless. Steven still held the weight, his half-gem strength just barely preventing it from crushing him.

"I didn't want this! I just wanted to eat together like best buds," cried out Steven.

"Steven, you need to get out of here before you get hurt!" Shouted Peridot, who now had her foot caught after trying to pry her arm loose.

"But my breakfast!"

The monster then spat a giant waffle at Peridot, slamming her against the wall so hard it made a giant crack in the wall. Steven did not like what he just saw.

"That's enough!" Steven shoved as hard as he could, using the plate as a shield. "I don't care if you are the most important meal of the day..." forcing the monster towards Peridot's smelted metal pool. "...I made you to bring us together..." as he pushed the monster into the pool, the monster crying out "...not to tear us apart!"

In once quick push, the monster was gone, nothing but the smell of overcooked syrup was left of the beast. Lapis was able to call a small bit of water all the way from her room, creating a momentary shower and completely rinsing her and Jasper off of the sticky substance, freeing them. The giant waffle pealed off of the wall, revealing a squashed Peridot, the green gem falling to the floor with it, leaving a Peridot shaped hole in the rock.

Steven looked into the pool. "I'm sorry guys. I guess I dreamed too big..."

* * *

The next morning all of the gems went to work. Peridot worked her mechanical hands on every toaster they owned, creating a perfectly symmetrial stack of waffles. Lapis applied the syrup as an artist would, creating ornate patterns across the waffles in a lovely diamond-shaped pattern. Jasper popped the popcorn and applied two full bags across it, adding a heavy crown of whip-cream ontop of it. Finally, Steven added the crown jewel-strawberry with perfect preciscion. The Together Breakfast was back together again!

"It looks great! It looks even more 'together' and even more 'breakfast'." As Steven was about to get the forks, he gave the plate one last look. As did Lapis. And Jasper. And Peridot.

Suddenly the plate did not look so appealing, all things considered.

"I don't think I can eat this," said Steven.

"Let's order takeout," said Jasper.

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: I AM CONSIDERING SKIPPING THE NEXT EPISODE "FRYBO" AND GOING STRAIGHT TO "CAT FINGERS". I'M HAVING A HARD TIME THINKING OF A WAY TO MAKE IT INTERESTING. IF ANY OF YOU HAVE CREATIVE IDEAS INVOLVING MY INCARNATION OF THESE CHARACTERS THAT WOULD BRING ANYTHING NEW TO THE TABLE, LET ME KNOW.**

 **Safe to say this was probably the easiest to write, as I was able to plan this chapter out in my head as soon as I started this fanfic. Not sure why. Just thought it seemed fun.**

 **I think I've grown fond of making Peridot the blunt end of slapstick. Not sure how that happened. Guess that's what happens when you make the cynical character the one with all of the bombs. She's just asking for it.  
**

 **Lapis' room is loosely based on Pearl's room, the fountains fitting Lapis Lazuli pretty well. The other inspirations provided for the room include the Seas-spire from before and the Silver City from DC/Vertigo. Anyone ever read _The Sandman_ or _Lucifer_? I have. The Silver City is what it says it is: a city built out of shining silver meant to house the host of heaven and the throne of god, the city built by the lilim and existing just outside of the universe. If anyone wants to know my opinion of the recently premiered show _Lucifer_ , I think it is bad adaptation. It is a good, exciting show and I highly recommend giving it a watch, but it is an in-name only adaptation with only the occasional reference every now and again. **

**Anyway, the objects that Lapis keeps (the wand, the cup, the sword and the pentacle) are the symbols of the minor arcana from Tarot. Tarot is one of my favorite hobbies, and I think gnostic mysticism fits the fantasy esq profile of Lapis Lazuli over the sci-fi and blockbuster aesthetics Peridot and Jasper have respectively. This is even prevalent in symbolism. I like to think that the four objects represent this fanfic's incarnation of the Crystal Gems. Lapis is the heart, Peridot is the brains and Jasper is the body. Cups represent emotions and the element of water (being Lapis), swords represent intellect, wit and the element of wind (being Peridot, ironic considering Yellow Diamond is the one with the sword) and pentacles/coins/disks represent the physical world and the element of earth (being Jasper). By process of elimination, Yellow Diamond would be the wand, representing faith and will and the element of fire, as it must have taken a will o iron to rebel against Homeworld.  
**

 **The inspiration for Jasper's room was actually the homeworld level known as "Peacekeepers" from _Spyro the Dragon_ and "Lost Fleet" from _Spyro: Year of the Dragon_ with just a touch of "The Keyblade Graveyard" from _Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep_. _Spyro the Dragon_ on the PS1 was the very first video game I ever owned and played, so it always has had that grip on me. Peacekeepers is portrayed as a western desert canyon, the only source of moisture being a the toxic purplish tar pits. This harsh environment I think fits the "survivor, tough as nails" personality Jasper has. To those who think Jasper was being too cute here, please remember that _this_ Jasper has been on Earth for thousands of years, and thus has learned to lighten up a little. This is especially prevalent under Steven's influence.  
**

 **Not much too Peridot's room really. Just think "the basement with the lava pool, but like a big green mechanic's garage."**

 **I replaced the star on the temple door with a diamond because: 1) the Crystal gems here are represented by the diamond, as Yellow Diamond is their leader here, and 2) there are only four of them. No one is a permafusion in this story, so you can forget that. I don't care how many fan theories there are. Anyway, the colors on the door go clockwise in order of colors on the rainbow. Yellow on the top point, orange on the right point, green on the bottom point and blue on the left side.**

 **The idea of a "Crystal Tree" over a "Crystal Heart" was because bananas.**


End file.
